


The Side that Loves You

by BNHAtrashcan



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beach Sex, Bisexual Hinata Hajime, Blow Jobs, Bottom Komaeda Nagito, Drunk Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Fluff and Smut, Gay Komaeda Nagito, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, Public Blow Jobs, Public Display of Affection, Public Hand Jobs, Public Sex, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Shameless Smut, Shower Sex, Sick Komaeda Nagito, Sleepy Cuddles, Smut, Suffering Komaeda Nagito, Top Hinata Hajime, Uke Komaeda Nagito
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-01-31 04:41:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21440389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BNHAtrashcan/pseuds/BNHAtrashcan
Summary: When Komaeda wakes up from his comatose state, his memories and feelings are completely jumbled. He can't complete basic tasks due to only having one usable hand, making him feel useless. Hinata helps him sort through his memories and do every day tasks like eating, dressing, and showering.WARNING: This is an emotional hurt/comfort/smut fanfic.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 18
Kudos: 411
Collections: Danganronpa Fanfictions





	1. The Revival

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic rotates between POV's.  
Anytime it switches there will be a "...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for the chapter:   
All I Want by Kodaline 
> 
> “When you said your last goodbye... I died a little inside.”

It had been a little over eight months since Hinata and the other survivors woke up from the Neo World Program.

As soon as Hinata woke up, his island memories were merged with the memories of Izuru Kamukura.

Luckily, Hinata left the Neo World Program with a goal in mind: He was going to revive everyone who “died” while in the program. This goal was the thing that was keeping him sane.

In exchange for their freedom, the survivors agreed to work for the Future Foundation under Makoto Naegi in the Future Foundation in the newly re-built Administration building located at Jabberwock Park. This deal also gave them the funding needed to revive their companions.

With the funding and the talents he acquired as Izuru Kamukura, Hinata finally managed to create a serum that shocked those in a coma awake. However, the serum had a flaw: it would only wake those who had the strongest desire to live.

Over the course of the eight months, one by one, their comatose friends woke up. It started with Peko, then Nekomaru, Twogami, Mahiru, Ibuki, Hiyoko, Teru-Teru, Gundam, Mikan, and lastly… Komaeda.  
After a year of living without the others, the survivors were reunited with their friends.

However, they still suffered a great loss. Chiaki, who was no more than a written program in the Neo World Program, was gone forever. In addition, many of the comatose awoke in a state of panic due to their merged memories, and required immediate medical attention. The Future Foundation shipped in doctors and nurses to assist Hinata in caring for them, because Mikan was one of those who suffered from panic attacks and could not help with the care of the others.

Currently in the hospital was: Teru-Teru, Gundham, Mikan, and Komaeda. They had been there since they were revived. The others had recovered enough to be released. They were allowed to reside with everyone else, at the cabins on the hotel grounds. 

Out of everyone revived, it seemed Komaeda suffered the most from his merged memories. Komaeda was prone to suicidal thoughts when they were in the Neo World Program…  
Now that he was out, and his memories were a mushy mess… Hianta was extremely worried about him.

He found himself stopping by Komaeda’s room at least six times a day. More than half the time, Komaeda would be asleep or refuse to speak to him. When that happened, Hinata would just sit them and read a book beside him for awhile. He really wanted Komaeda to know… that he wasn’t giving up on him. 

Hinata took it upon himself to administer most of Komaeda’s care. He thought maybe seeing a familiar face often instead of a random doctor, would help Komaeda feel safe. So, Hinata would personally give Komaeda his medicines, he would change his IV and give him fluids, he would also deliver all three of his meals. 

“Happy two weeks!” Hinata peeked his head in Komaeda’s hospital room one morning.

Komaeda was sitting up in his bed, staring out the small window at the tropical sky.  
He was dressed in a blue hospital gown. His white hair was as wild as ever, his skin was so pale it practically shimmered, and his grey eyes looked dull and sunken in. He was hooked up to an IV that was dripping saline fluids constantly to hydrate him and a heart monitor to regulate his heart beat (specifically if he had a panic attack). 

Komaeda definitely heard Hinata, but he didn’t even turn to look or acknowledge him.

“You’ve been awake for two whole weeks now…” Hinata entered the room.  
He was dressed in a pair of dark blue scrubs, his one green eye,/one red eye shimmered under the fluorescent lights. Slowly, he wheeled in a grey three-shelf cart. On the top shelf was all of Komaeda’s morning medicines and a fresh saline bag. On the middle self was his breakfast: sunny side up eggs, white bread toast, two strips of bacon, and a cup of red jello.

Hinata walked over to Komaeda’s IV pole. He changed the saline bag first.  
Komaeda ignored him during the process, continuing to stare blankly out the window.

After the saline bag was replaced, Hinata quickly examined Komaeda’s “dead hand.” The hand that he stole from the body of Junko Enoshima and roughly attached to himself after sawing off his own hand. It was badly infected. Komaeda was on three antibiotics for the infection, but it still wasn’t getting better. Honestly, Hinata was surprised that Komaeda’s body survived while they were in the Neo World Program with how bad the infection was when he was first revived. 

“So, since it’s been two weeks….” Hinata said. “Want to celebrate by finally looking at some prosthetics?” 

Komaeda finally turned his attention away from the window to glare at Hinata. 

“I’ll take that as a no….” Hinata sighed. 

Komaeda turned back to the window. 

Hinata gave Komaeda his medicine through his IV. In the morning and at night he needed his three antibiotics, medicine for his depression (which seemed to not really be working), medicine for his anxiety, and medicine for night terrors (he slept so much, he needed it twice a day). 

“Listen…” Hinata said, now setting Komaeda’s breakfast on the bed-side table. “If you don’t pick a prosthetic soon, I am going to pick one for you.” 

Komaeda turned his attention back to Hinata. 

“The hand is going to go.” Hinata said sternly, staring Komaeda right in the eyes. 

There was a pause. 

“If the hand goes… how will be able to remind myself of what horrible things I’ve done?” Komaeda spoke for the first time that day. 

“You don’t need a constant reminder! You can move on and start over!” Hinata jumped at the chance to speak with him.

There was another pause.

“How do you know that… for sure?” Komaeda asked in a sad tone. 

“Because I’ve seen our other friends do it.” Hinata explained. “They’re finally happy… and you can be too!” 

Komaeda sighed.  
“They had the talents to be able to overcome this… I’m just some guy who happens to be a little bit lucky.” 

“Komaeda, you’re way more than just your luck.” Hinata said. 

“I’m so glad you think so. At least someone thinks so…” Komaeda replied. 

“It’s not just me. Our other friends have been asking about you.” Hinata told him. 

“Really? I was sure the others wouldn’t mind if I wasn’t around anymore… After all, I’d just be a bother with all of the problems I bring with me…” Komaeda mumbled. 

“No, that’s wrong!” Hinata was getting worked up now. “They would care if you… if something happened to you…” 

“But...” Nagito tried to speak. 

“Don’t you get it? You have people who care about you! I care about you!” The corners of Hinata’s eyes were full of tears of frustration. “I care about about you!”

There was a long pause, during which Komaeda stared Hinata in the eyes.

“I think… there’s a part of me that’s in love with you.” Komaeda said softly.

Hinata was taken back.

“D-Don’t try to get me to lay off you!” He stuttered.

“I’m not trying to…” Komaeda replied. “I don’t know why, but deep down… I get this… feeling when I look at you… but my memories are so messed up… I can’t tell where the feeling comes from…” He explained. “It’s why I don’t talk to you much. I can’t figure out how to feel about you.” 

Hinata blushed a little.  
“Well…uhm... this is good. We can work off this.” 

Komaeda seemed disappointed by this reaction.  
“I’m sorry… maybe I shouldn’t have said anything…” 

“No!” Hinata gently grabbed Komaeda’s good hand. “I-I’m glad you did.” 

Komaeda’s pale face turned noticeably red. 

“I want to talk about this more.” Hinata said. “But you need to eat first.” 

Hinata let go of Komaeda’s hand. He grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and dragged it over next to Komaeda’s bed. He grabbed a spork off Komaeda’s tray and dug into the eggs. He brought the spork full of eggs up to Komaeda’s mouth. 

“Having you feed me all the time is embarrassing…” Komaeda said. 

“You haven’t exactly been practicing doing things with one hand.” Hinata told him. “Maybe if you practiced, you could be doing this yourself. Now, open up.”  
Pouting a bit, Komaeda opened his mouth and Hinata slid the spork inside. 

“You know… there was a time you were begging me to feed you.” Hinata teased as he scooped up another spork full of eggs. 

“That actually happened? I thought it was some weird dream I had…” Komaeda replied, opening his mouth for another dose of food. 

“It really happened, and yes... you were all chained up when it happened.” Hinata said, getting the next sporkful ready. 

“Oh yes… I remember being chained up… it seems like I was chained up a lot…” Komaeda said between bites. 

“I only know of the one time.” Hinata looked concerned. “Maybe you’re confusing things… or maybe pulling something from your past…” He got the last sporkful of eggs ready. 

“Hmm... perhaps I was just really kinky.” He bit into the food, unfazed by what he had just said. 

Hinata practically dropped the spork.  
“Uh… well…” He cleared his throat. “D-Do you want bacon or toast next?” 

“Surprise me.” Komaeda said. 

Hinata picked up a piece of bacon. 

“That’s just what I wanted! How did you know?” Komaeda asked with a smile. 

“I didn’t I just picked randomly.” Hinata shrugged, holding up the bacon. 

“I guess my luck helped me out there.” Komaeda bit into the bacon. 

He finished the first piece and then the second one. After the bacon, he ate the toast. 

“You’re doing really good eating today.” Hinata praised him. 

“Praise?” Komaeda raised an eyebrow, smiling. “Was that praise?” 

“You’ve always liked praise.” Hinata chuckled a bit. 

“It does make me feel good…” Komaeda admitted. “Especially since it’s coming from you… at least that’s what part of me is saying.” 

“You’d get more praise from me if you’d eat like this everyday.” Hinata told him. “And if you showered.” He held up a spoonful of jello for Komaeda to eat.

“Like you pointed out earlier, I don’t practice using my one and only good hand. I don’t know how I’d shower with one hand…” Komaeda sighed and accepted the jello.

There was a pause. 

“I could help you shower.” Hinata said.

Komaeda choked on his jello. 

“Komaeda!” Hinata patted him on the back.

“S-Sorry I didn’t quite h-hear that…” Komaeda coughed. 

“I can help you shower Komaeda.” Hinata repeated. 

“L-Like now?” Komaeda asked. 

“When you finish your jello.” Hinata said, hoping to bribe him with food. 

Komaeda opened his mouth.  
Hinata watched him down the jello faster and faster with each spoonful.  
When he finished, Hinata stood up. 

“I’ll get rid of this.” He placed Komaeda’s breakfast tray onto the cart. “And I’ll bring back some supplies for your shower.” He wheeled the cart out of Komaeda’s hospital room. 

…………………

In the one month Komaeda has been awake, all he did was internally try to sort out his memories. To be honest, his mind was a complete mess. He didn’t know what memories belonged where… He was unsure of so much… 

Even so, there was at least one thing he was sure of: a part of him was in love with Hinata.  
However, it was only one part of him. There was also a part of him that resented Hinata, and a part that didn’t even know who Hinata was. This left him unsure of how to feel. 

Now Hinata was going to help him shower…  
A part of him was suffering from major gay panic.  
Komaeda hoped maybe this experience would help him sort out how he felt overall about Hinata. 

A little while after Hinata left, he returned. He pushed the cart back into the room, this time with towels, change of clothes, and bottles of soap on it.

“Alright.” Hinata approached Komaeda’s hospital bed. “Let’s get you unhooked.” 

He unhooked his heart monitor and then put a short cord on his IV so that he could get up to walk. 

Komaeda felt his heart racing at the thought of what they were about to do...

“Here.” Hinata offered Komaeda a hand. Komaeda took it and Hinata helped him stand up. “Are you balanced?” He asked. 

Komaeda nodded. 

“Great.” Hinata turned to the cart. He lifted up the towels and pulled out a black pair of swim trunks. “I’ll help you to the bathroom. Put this on, and when you’re ready, I will come in to help you shower.” 

“A swimsuit?” Komaeda was confused. 

“Yep. I put one on under my scrubs.” Hinata explained as he helped Komaeda walk to the bathroom. 

Komaeda realized they wouldn’t be showering naked together. This made sense to him, but he had to admit… a part of him was disappointed. 

Komaeda went into the bathroom and tried to change into the swim trunks.  
But his body was so lanky… this turned out to be harder than he thought with only one hand. 

“H-Hinata…” He cracked the bathroom door open. 

“Are you ready?” Hinata was standing there in his swimsuit. 

The sight of Hinata shirtless made Komaeda’s cheeks turn red. 

“I...uhm…” He couldn’t find the words.

Hinata opened the door wider.  
“You can’t get your clothes off, can you?” He sighed.

Komaeda nodded, finally recovering from the sight of shirtless Hinata.  
“I’m sorry…it’s the hospital robe... I’m completely useless…” 

“You’re not useless. You just need to practice.” Hinata told him, entering the bathroom and closing the door behind him. “So, I’ll help you, but only if you promise to practice using your good hand.” 

“Very well.” Komaeda agreed. 

“I’m touching you now. If you get triggered, just tell me to stop and we’ll stop.” Hinata said. 

Komaeda nodded.  
He really appreciated how gentle Hinata was being…

Hinata grabbed the end of the blue hospital robe and pulled it up and over Komaeda’s head. Komaeda was now left in his boxers and only his boxers.

“Alright uhm…” Hinata paused, he was blushing a little bit. “Do you need help with your boxers or…”

The thought of Hinata removing his boxers was too much for Komaeda to handle.

“I should be able to manage.” He told him. 

“Right… I’ll go get the soap...” Hinata left the bathroom. 

Komaeda pulled down the boxers until they dropped to the floor on their own. He picked up the swimsuit and attempted to put it on. This was harder than he thought it was going to be… trying to pull it up from the floor all the way up was proving to be quite difficult. The fabric was stiff, it had no stretch.

“Hinata…” Komaeda called out. 

“Yeah?” Hinata said from the within the hospital room. 

“I can’t pull them up…” Komaeda said. “My swim trunks…” 

There was a pause. 

“Alright… I’m coming in.” Hinata warned him. 

Hinata entered the room carrying soap, towels, and a fresh hospital robe and a pair of boxers for Komaeda. Komaeda quickly covered his crotch with his good hand. Both Komaeda and Hinata were blushing. Hinata placed the clothes and towels on the sink and the soap in the shower.

“I-I’ll pull them up for you.” Hinata approached Komaeda. He had to get very close to him in order to pull them up. He pulled them up to Komaeda’s crotch area, then stopped.

“Uhm uh….” Hinata gulped when he got face-to-face with Komaeda’s covered crotch. “Y-You’re going to have to move your hand.” 

Komaeda took a deep breath and slowly moved his hand. Hinata was obviously trying his best not to stare as he finished pulling up Komaeda’s swimsuit. 

“Thanks for helping me.” Komaeda said afterwards. “Sorry you had to see that.” 

“It’s fine. I mean… it’s not like I don’t have one too.” Hinata replied. 

“Right…” Komaeda wasn’t sure what else to say.

“Alright. Let’s get down to business now.” Hinata walked over to the shower and turned it on.  
He let it warm up. “It’s ready.” 

Komaeda stepped into the shower.  
Water hit him for the first time since he woke up. The warm water felt amazing against his skin.  
He sighed a contented sigh. 

“Feels good, doesn’t it?’ Hinata stepped in behind him. 

“Yeah… it does feel good.” Komaeda admitted.

“I’m touching you now. Just like before… let me know if we need to stop. ” Hinata picked up the soap and squirted some into his hands. He began lathering up the back of Komaeda’s hair. After the back of Komaeda’s hair was soaped up, his hands went to Komaeda’s shoulders and back. 

Komaeda accidentally let a moan slip out as Hinata massaged the soap on his shoulders and back.

Komaeda blushed from embarrassment.  
“S-Sorry!” 

“It alright Komaeda, it’s supposed to feel good. I’m massaging you a bit since you’ve been in bed these past two weeks.” Hinata explained. 

“Oh… o-okay” Komaeda said. He was still blushing. Hinata’s hands felt so soft…  
And the massaging was causing some problems in his lower region. As much as a part of him wanted to deny it… he was getting turned on. He certainly was grateful for the swim trunks now...

“Alright… turn around.” Hinata said after his finished Komaeda’s back. 

Komaeda turned around and Hinata went to work washing the front of his hair.  
Komaeda closed his eyes, reopening them when he felt Hinata’s hands go to his chest. 

Hinata ran a soapy hand down Komaeda’s chest, abs, and stomach. Then brought it back up to Komaeda’s chest. 

The feeling was too much to handle…  
“Hinata…” 

Hinata froze with his hand on Komaeda’s chest. “Should I stop?” He began withdrawing his hand.

With his good hand, Komaeda grabbed Hinata’s wrist.  
“N-No don’t stop.” He placed Komaeda’s hand back onto his chest.

“Komaeda…” Hinata noticed Komaeda’s blush. “Are you alright?” 

“Y-Yeah.” Komaeda nodded. 

There was a pause. 

“...Alright.” Hinata went back to scrubbing him. 

If this shower made him realize anything… it was that he was definitely at least attracted to Hinata. 

…………………

When Hinata finished cleaning Komaeda, he cleaned himself quickly and turned off the water.  
They both stepped out of the shower. Hinata walked over to the sink, grabbed a towel, and walked back to Komaeda. He started drying Komaeda off. 

“Thanks for helping me… I know it must have been unpleasant…” Komaeda said. 

“I’m just glad you’re making progress.” Hinata replied. “You’re out of bed, talking, and your clean.”

“I suppose these small steps will pay off in the end.” Komaeda nodded.

“Exactly.” Hinata said. “See, it’s good you’re thinking that way.”  
After Komaeda was dry, Hinata dried himself off. 

When both of their skin was dry, Hinata glanced at Komaeda’s soaking wet swim trunks.  
He realized there would be no way Komaeda would be able to remove them himself. 

Hinata let out a nervous sigh.  
Helping him put them on was nerve-wracking enough…  
He had come face-to-face with Komaeda’s dick. And as much as he tried not to stare, he got an eye-full. 

Talking to Komaeda again was bringing up a lot of old memories and feelings Hinata had. 

While in the killing game, Hinata found that he had a real soft spot for Komaeda. And Komaeda most definitely had a soft spot for him. But at the end of it all… the two fell apart. Komaeda distanced himself and then… just like that… he was gone. 

“I think a part of me is in love with you.”  
Inside his head, Hinata was going over what Komaeda had said earlier.  
It was a small glimpse of the old Komaeda...

The thought those words again made him blush. 

He glanced at Komaeda’s swimsuit again. 

“I’m guessing you are going to need help getting your trunks off.” He approached Komaeda.

“No! I uhm...I’m gonna try to d-do myself.” Komaeda backed away, flustered. 

“You couldn’t get them on dry, how are you going to get them off when they’re wet?” Hinata asked.

“I...I uhm… well…” Komaeda was blushing and Hinata didn’t know why. 

“Just let me do it. You’re going to catch a cold standing around in a wet swimsuit.” Hinata said. 

“Okay...okay…” Komaeda gave in. 

“Touching you now.” Hinata gently grabbed the rim of Komaeda’s swim trunks. 

When he pulled them down, he was surprised to see that Komaeda was erect. 

Komaeda’s face turned bright red.  
“I’m sorry… I couldn’t help it! All the touching made my body this way…” He tried his best to cover his erection with his good hand, but this proved to be challenging now that he was erect. “I can’t deny it… I-I’m attracted to you… I’m REALLY attracted to you. It’s the first thing I’ve been sure of since I’ve been revived. It’s my only clear thought...” 

Hinata’s heart started racing.  
Another glimpse at the Komaeda he used to know… 

Hinata gently touched Komaeda’s chin.  
“Komaeda... you don’t need to explain. I know the feeling…” He moved in even closer to Komaeda. “I-I want to kiss you… but…” 

Before Hinata got to finish his sentence, Komaeda kissed him.  
As good as the kiss felt, Hinata pulled back. 

“Komaeda… we shouldn’t.” He panted. 

“B-But I thought…” Komaeda looked hurt and confused.

“You need to figure some things out first.” Hinata told him. “You need to work on getting better.” 

“H-Hinata…” Komaeda’s eyes filled with tears. 

“After you’ve figured things out Komaeda… if you find that you feel the same as you do now… there’s nothing I’d want more than for us to try to be together.” 

Komaeda gave a tearful nod.  
“O-Okay…” 

“Can I hug you?” Hinata asked. 

Komaeda nodded quickly and Hinata pulled him into a tight hug.  
He could feel Komaeda’s erection against him and he had to try really hard to control himself.  
After a moment, Hinata pulled back. 

“Let’s get you dressed and back into bed.” Hinata walked over to the sink and picked up the clean hospital robe and boxers. 

He dropped the boxers on the ground and Komaeda stepped into them. He quickly pulled them up. Then he put the hospital robe over Komaeda’s head and pulled it down. He helped Koameda pull his dead hand through the arm hole.  
He walked with Komaeda to his hospital bed and helped him get settled.  
After, he went back into the bathroom to change out of his swim trunks and back into his scrubs. 

When he was alone in the bathroom, he let out a sigh.  
It was really hard for him to say what he said to Komaeda. After seeing glimpses of the old Komaeda coming through...he really wanted to kiss Komaeda over and over again… but he knew couldn’t. Glimpses are just glimpses after all… and the Komaeda that was here with him now… had a lot he needed to work out. 

Hinata finished dressing and returned to Komaeda’s side.  
He re-hooked him up to his saline bag and heart monitor. 

“I’m going to go check on Mikan, Gundam, and Teru Teru. I’ll be back with your lunch in a little bit.”  
Hinata told Komaeda. 

“W-When you come back… can we talk about prosthetics?” Komaeda asked. 

Hinata smiled.  
“Of course.”


	2. The Road to Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if I re-write this fanfic for a second time?
> 
> Haha jk, jk.
> 
> ...Unless
> 
> (But seriously I am trying to make this fanfic the best it can possibly be, so please be patient with me!) U///U

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the Chapter:  
The Night We Met  
By: Lord Huron 
> 
> “I’ve been searching for a trail to follow... again... take me back to the night we met.”

A FEW HOURS LATER

Komaeda fell asleep shortly after Hinata left.  
Mainly to avoid all of the thoughts going through his head about Hinata…

However even asleep he couldn’t avoid the thoughts.  
A memory came back to him while he was sleeping: 

A late night… in a room…  
No not just a room, a museum?  
Some sort of museum filled with M-Monokuma memorabilia?  
Komaeda felt hungry… really hungry...

“I’m in love with you… and the hope that sleeps inside you Hajime.” He was speaking directly to Hinata who was blushing like crazy. 

I love you… I love you… I…..

Komaeda woke up to the sound of a cart being pushed into his hospital room. 

Damnit! What was that memory!? 

He slowly opened his eyes. 

“Oh! Shit! Were you sleeping?” It was Hinata, standing there in a black business suit.  
The suit looked like it was perfectly tailored and the red tie he had on matched his one red eye.  
He was holding a black binder with one hand and pushing a cart with Komaeda’s lunch on it in the other. 

Komaeda noticed right away how handsome Hinata looked…  
“Y-You’re all dressed up…” 

“Yeah, I’m going to feed you lunch and then I have a meeting I have to attend at the Future Foundation headquarters… off island.” Hinata explained with a sigh. 

“Off island… y-you mean we can leave the island?” Komaeda sounded surprised. 

“I can leave the island, you can’t.” Hinata replied. “Well, maybe when you are better…” He parked the cart next to Komaeda’s bedside. 

“Oh...right.” Komaeda nodded. “I...I just… was thinking about visiting my parents graves.” 

Hinata studied Komaeda’s face.  
“Komaeda, when you get better I will personally take you to visit your parents graves.” 

Komaeda blushed. 

“Y-You know because… because you shouldn’t have to do that alone!” Hinata quickly added, seeing Komaeda’s flushed face.

“R-Right.” Komaeda nodded again. 

“Anyway… here…” Hinata held out the black binder in his hand. “I brought you these prosthetic blueprints.” He opened the binder and began to flip through them. 

Komaeda’s eyes lit up a bit at the sight of the robotic prosthetics.

“This looks like some really advanced technology…” Komaeda was impressed. “W-Would I really be able to bend my fingers?” He asked. 

“Uh huh.” Hinata nodded.

“I’ve never seen anything like this…it attaches to my nerves?” 

“Yup.” Hinata told him. “And I can guarantee it will work… because I designed all these myself. They’re all the same tech. You just need to pick a style.” 

Komaeda’s eyes got wide…  
He didn’t remember Hinata excelling in robotics and advanced medical technology….

“Personally, I would recommend this one…” Hinata flipped to a certain page. “It is the lightweight option.” 

“If you think so… then I will go with that one.” Komaeda found himself saying.

Shoot! He didn’t mean to agree so fast…

“Perfect. I think I can do the surgery two days out from now…” Hinata said. “There should be room in my schedule…” 

“Woa! Since when have you been a surgeon?” Komaeda asked. “I...feel like I would remember that...and I definitely do not!” 

Hinata paused.  
“It’s too much to explain right now…” He sighed. “Let’s just say, there’s a lot you never knew about me.”  
Komaeda was impressed. 

If Hinata had the talent to design the high-tech robotic prosthetics and perform surgery… he must be a super genius!  
Komaeda definitely didn’t remember that...then again…

What was Hinata’s talent ??? 

For some reason, he couldn’t recall it…

“Alright! Excellent!” Hinata closed the binder. “This will really help with your recovery… I think. Either way, it’s best to remove anything despair inducing… and that hand of yours is VERY despair inducing.” 

“Despair….” Komaeda’s brain started to hurt a bit. “Inducing?” 

“Something bothering you? D-Did you just remember something?” Hinata asked quickly. 

“I had this dream… we were in a museum? No… a collectors room? I’m not sure...” Komaeda wracked his brain. “It was filled with this memorabilia… this really twisted memorabilia. Definitely despair inducing…” 

Hinata gulped.  
“Y-Yes I know of the place.” 

“But what I was saying… it was the opposite of despair inducing…”  
Komaeda paused to think… to remember the dream.

“I’m in love with you... and the hope that sleeps inside you.”

Hinata’s face turned a dark shade of red at the sound of those words. 

“Hinata… I said those words… to you...didn’t I?” Komaeda asked, desperately wanting to confirm the memory.

Hinata cleared his throat, a pained expression on his face.  
“Y-You did.” 

“I see.” Komaeda blushed a little.  
“S-So I was in love with you. I mean… those aren’t words you would say to someone who was ‘just a friend’, right?” 

“I...I’m glad you remember that.” Hinata paused and then sighed. “But I urge you to not overthink it. Y-You are a different person now.” His tone became sad. “I want you to form your own opinion… d-do not dwell on the past. Like I said earlier… get better. If you still feel the same after… t-then we can try… okay?”

Komaeda could tell that those words were EXTREMELY hard for Hinata to say. 

What really had gone on between them??? 

“R-Right.” All Komaeda could do was agree.  
After all, he didn’t even know why he was in love with Hinata… 

Hinata placed the binder down on the bed.  
“Well… uh… you should eat. I don’t have much time…” He said. 

Komaeda eyed the lunch tray.  
Mashed potatoes with thick cut-up slices of turkey and green beans.

“Can I try?” 

“Sure.” Hinata handed him the spork. 

Stabbing the green beans was easy.  
But after they were gone… Komaeda started struggling. 

“Need help?” Hinata offered. 

“You just like feeding me… don’t you.” Komaeda pouted, frustrated from failing to feed himself. 

Hinata blushed.  
“I...I do not!” 

“Careful Hinata… your face turned pretty red just now...”  
Komaeda pointed out. 

Hinata shoved a spoon full of mashed potatoes into Komaeda’s mouth. 

Though he was now choking...  
Komaeda couldn’t help but smile a bit…

…………………

When Hinata finished feeding Komaeda, he helped him use the restroom and then left.

He didn’t have much time before he had to catch a helicopter to leave the island for his meeting. 

On his way to the airfield, Hinata found that he couldn’t stop thinking about Komaeda…

He remembered…  
“I’m in love with you… and the hope that sleeps inside you.” 

Those words were the last loving words to come out of Komaeda’s mouth when they were in the Neo World Program.

Shortly after… he and Komaeda had their falling out. 

Hinata’s heart had immediately started hurting when he heard Komaeda speak those words again.

“Fuck…” Hinata noticed he was shaking a bit.

Maybe he should cancel his meeting…

No… he couldn’t do that.  
This meeting about Komaeda.

Some of the future foundation employees were less than thrilled (to say the least) at Komaeda’s revival.

Not only was Komaeda extremely mentally unstable in the Neo World Program… but before the Neo World Program, Komaeda was heavily responsible for the downfall of Towa City. A city that had very important technological advances that were now destroyed… including air purifiers.

If Hinata couldn’t convince the higher ups that Komaeda was recovering alright… they’d...they’d eliminate him.

Luckily, Komaeda had miraculously made a lot of headway earlier that very day.  
Maybe his luck had something to do with it… 

Either way, Hinata now had a lot of good things to talk about at the meeting.

Though it was slow, Komaeda was coming around.  
He was regaining memories… and clearly emotions too.  
And the memories he was re-gaining seemed to be good ones.

Hinata reached the air field as a black helicopter landed on a yellow landing pad. 

As he boarded the helicopter, Hinata was filled with determination. 

He was going to defend Komaeda… no matter what. 

…………………

Komaeda was met with a sense of loneliness when Hinata left. 

He was scared of going back to sleep… 

Clearly bringing up that memory had hurt Hinata. He recognized the pained look in his eyes… and he saw how hard it was for him to talk about it.

As confused as Komaeda was, he knew he didn’t want to hurt Hinata… 

After all, Komaeda was indeed attracted to Hinata.  
If he wasn’t… he body wouldn’t have reacted the way it did in the shower.

Komaeda sighed out loud.  
His head was such a mess…

“Knock! Knock! Knock!”  
There was a light knocking on the door frame of Komaeda’s room.

Komaeda looked up.  
It took Komaeda a minute, but he recognized their faces. 

It was Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi.

“Come in.” Komaeda said.

The two looked at each other and entered.

“Yo!” Kazuichi grinned as they approached his hospital bed.

“Hinata told us you made a lot of headway today.” Fuyuhiko told him. “Naturally everyone wanted to come see you… but Hinata thought that would be a little too much… so we volunteered to come. Just the two of us.” 

Komaeda was surprised, but happy to see them.  
“I’m surprised Nanami didn’t volunteer to come in and smack me for spending so much of Hinata’s time. She was always so...protective over him… right?” 

Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko exchanged glances.

“Uh...so…” Kazuichi gulped. “You don’t remember everything yet, do you?”

Was he supposed to remember something specifically about Chiaki? Komaeda wondered.

“It’s slowly all coming back…but it’s a lot to sort out.” He told them.

“Well, we’re here for you. All of your friends, who have recovered, are here for you.” Fuyuhiko said. 

“Friends…” Komaeda sighed. “I’m sorry, it’s just very hard to believe.” 

“Well, it’s true.” Fuyuhiko told him. 

Komaeda smiled a bit.

“You look pretty thin, is Hinata feeding you?” Fuyuhiko asked.

“He is.” Komaeda nodded. “Quite literally…I can’t really do things by myself.” 

“Wow, wow you managed to get Hinata to spoon feed you?” Kazuichi teased. “He wouldn’t do that for just anyone, you know.” 

Komaeda found himself blushing. 

“It must be nice having your own nurse take care of your every need. Personally, I’d prefer Miss Sonia over Hinata as a nurse but… we all have our preferences, I guess.” Kazuichi said.

“About that…” Komaeda wanted to get some answers. “Has Hinata always had this much medical knowledge?” 

Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko exchanged glances again.

“That might be a question you ask Hinata himself.” Kazuichi said.

“I tried… but he won’t answer.” Komaeda sighed.

“Maybe he doesn’t think you’re ready? If that’s the case, then trust him…Hinata knows what he is doing.” Fuyuhiko replied.

Komaeda tried wracking his brain again to see if he could figure it out… but he couldn’t. 

“Hey, don’t strain your mind.” Fuyuhiko said. “Trust me… just let the memories come back naturally. Right now your brain is trying to fight the trauma… it doesn’t want to remember.” 

“We’ve all been there.” Kazuichi added. 

“We have such fucked up memories… it’s a lot to take in.” Fuyuhiko said with a sigh.

“I… I just want to remember…” Komaeda’s voice was a little shaky. “You’re my friends… right? So why… why can’t I remember something as important as friendship!” His eyes began to uncontrollably fill with tears. “Or love? I can’t even remember that! All I remember… is the darkness. T-The loneliness…”

“Komaeda!” Fuyuhiko glanced around his heart monitor, which was starting to spike. “Don’t get upset!” 

Komaeda started panting, trying to calm himself down… but it just wasn’t working. His heart monitor was now beeping.

“Kazuichi! Go get a nurse!” Fuyuhiko said, slight panic in his voice.

“R-Right!” Kazuichi ran out of the room.

A few moments later, a nurse came in, Kazuichi behind her.

Fuyuhiko backed up and the nurse approached Komaeda. 

She had a syringe in one hand. She used her other to grab Komaeda’s IV. Quickly, she inserted the syringe and pumped in medicine to help Komaeda calm down.

“Breathe.” She said.

Komaeda tried his best to steady his breathing. 

“What should we do? Hinata isn’t here…” Kazuichi said to Fuyuhiko.

Fuyuhiko sighed.

After a moment, the nurse backed away.

“Stay with him for now. He should fall asleep soon from the medicine.” The nurse told them. “Until then, try not to upset him again.” 

“I-It wasn’t their fault.” Komaeda tried to say, but the nurse left.

“Sorry Komaeda.” Fuyuhiko apologized.

“Y-Yeah sorry.” Kazuichi said.

“D-Don’t worry about it.” Komaeda’s breathing was returning to normal. “It happens. Sometimes my head starts hurting when I try to remember…and…” he yawned. “I get overwhelmed.”

“I understand.” Fuyuhiko said quietly. “When u first woke up… the memories of Peko I had made my head hurt and my heart ache. So, I get it.” 

Komaeda smiled a bit, he started feeling the medicine.  
“I guess I’m lucky to have you two… to have everyone…” His eyes started to droop. “Friends…” 

After a few minutes, Komaeda slowly drifted off into a deep sleep. 

…………………

A FEW HOURS LATER

The meeting went better than Hinata thought it would.  
Even so, it was still stressful as hell.  
It was very difficult to convince a room filled mainly with people that didn’t know Komaeda, that Komaeda had made headway. 

In addition: yes, Komaeda made headway… but retrospect… it wasn’t a lot of headway. 

Ultimately, it was Makoto who helped to convince the others at the meeting that any progress was good progress. 

Now Hinata felt like he owed Makoto...again.  
Well, nothing he could do about it right now. 

As soon as he returned from the meeting, he went back to his cabin to change into a pair of light grey sweatpants and a white v-neck tee shirt. 

After he was changed, he went back to the hospital to bring Komaeda his dinner. 

He couldn’t lie, the whole time he was gone… his mind was on Komaeda.  
He was excited to see him again. 

Hinata arrived at the hospital and was immediately approached by one of the nurses. 

“Hello sir, how was your meeting?” She asked. 

“It was fine. Is there something to report?” Hinata was instantly worried. 

“It’s Komaeda. He had a minor incident while you were gone.” The nurse said. 

“Minor incident?” Hinata raised an eyebrow. 

“Yes. I was told that the subject of friendship… and love sent him into a bit of an upset. We gave him sleeping medicine as soon as the incident occurred. He has been sleeping ever since.” The nurse explained. 

“I see.” Hinata sighed.  
He felt guilt creeping in.

It was probably his fault Komaeda freaked out… he was so confused after the whole shower thing.  
Damnit! 

“Did you happen to prepare the patient dinners?” Hinata asked, trying to remain outwardly calm. 

“Yes. I have delivered all of them but Komaeda’s.” The nurse said, giving Hinata a knowing gaze. 

“Thanks.” Hinata went behind the nurses station and grabbed the cart with Komaeda’s dinner on it. Then he made his way to Komaeda’s room. 

When he entered, he saw Komaeda sleeping in his bed. 

Hinata wheeled the cart over to his bedside.  
He checked all of Komaeda’s monitors.  
Then he grabbed a chair and pulled it up to the other side of Komaeda’s bed. 

Hinata sat down. He couldn’t help but stare at Komaeda.  
He looked so peaceful sleeping…

Hinata sighed.  
Komaeda probably had so many confusing and contradicting thoughts going through his head...

Slowly, Komaeda opened his eyes.  
“Hinata?” He said with a small yawn. 

C-Cute…  
Hinata couldn’t help but notice how adorable the yawn was.

“Yup, I’m here.” He said. 

Komaeda smiled a sleepy smile that made Hinata’s year race a bit.  
“You’re back.” 

“And I brought dinner.” Hinata told him. 

“And your suit is gone…” Komaeda yawned again. “Aww man…” He said quietly. 

“What was that?” Hinata raised an eyebrow. 

“N-Nothing…”  
Komaeda blushed.  
“Did I sleep all day?” He quickly tried to change the subject.

“No, only a couple of hours.” Hinata stood up and walked over to the cart of food, allowing Komaeda to drop the subject.  
“Feeling hungry?” 

“No really…but I guess I should eat. Fuyuhiko said I look thin.” Komaeda sighed.

“Oh so Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi did visit you then?” Hinata asked.

“They did. It was a short visit though… thanks to me…” Komaeda sighed.

“I heard an incident occurred.” Hinata looked at Komaeda’s good hand. “Can I touch you?” 

Komaeda nodded quickly. 

“Are you alright?” Hinata gently held Komaeda’s good hand. 

Komaeda’s face turned red.  
“I-I’m alright now.” 

“Look… Komaeda… I didn’t mean to confuse you earlier with the whole shower thing…” Hinata said. “Or with the conversation after the fact.” He paused. “I think I need to stop beating around the bush…” He sighed. “Komaeda… yes you were in love with me? Why? I couldn’t tell you… but you were. Now… you don’t remember those feelings, and I understand. That’s why I want you to try to move on… to start over. Don’t worry about the feelings you used to have. Develop new feelings… and they don’t have to be towards me. What I’m saying is… fall in love again on your own account… here and now… not in the past…and if in the end you find you want to be with me… then and only then can we be together.” 

“But Hinata…” Komaeda spoke up. “I-I can’t. Hinata… I don’t want to forget my feelings for you!” He started sniffling a bit. “Don’t you see that? I want to understand them! I… I want to love you.” He blushed, clearly realizing what he had just said. “P-Please don’t make me forget something… something that was once so precious to me. If I do… I’ll never come out of the darkness!” 

Without hesitating, Hinata hugged Komaeda tightly in his arms.

When he realized he had done so without asking, he tried to pull away, but Komaeda wouldn’t let him.

“Please hold me.” Komaeda said. “Help me to feel again…” 

Hinata felt his own eyes filling with tears.

“Damnit…” 

“...Hinata kiss me?” Komaeda asked. Tears started to drip from his eyes too.

Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do…but Hinata couldn’t resist his own feelings anymore.

He kissed Komaeda, and he kissed him hard enough that it felt like their lips were melting together.

“H-Hinata…” Komaeda panted before Hinata kissed him again… and then again.

It was only after they had kissed multiple times, that Hinata snapped out of it.

He pulled back.  
“I’m sorry… that got way out of hand.” He apologized immediately.

Komaeda was still crying, but he was also smiling.  
“Hinata… I felt it in my heart… the part of me that loves you… is screaming out.” He started leaning in again. “I want to hear it scream some more…” 

Hinata wanted to kiss him again… but he really shouldn’t….  
Shit! 

Their lips met again.

“F-Fuck!” Hinata pulled back after a moment. “We should stop Komaeda… this will only confuse you more.” 

“But Hinata… with every kiss… it’s becoming clearer…” Komaeda begged.

Hinata wasn’t sure whether to believe that or not. 

“I think… I think that’s enough.” He pulled back even further. 

Komaeda looked really, really disappointed.

“I-It’s enough for tonight. Okay?” Hinata gently touched Komaeda’s chin. “We can continue… with this… therapy ...tomorrow.” 

“Hinata…” Komaeda’s eyes filled with excitement. “R-Really?” 

“As long as it doesn’t upset you…” Hinata said.

“I do not feel upset at all.” Komaeda assured him.

Hinata sighed.  
“Fine, but you need to eat your dinner and sleep well tonight. Expect to get another shower tomorrow morning. It’s going to become a regular thing for you.” 

“Okay~!” Komaeda suddenly looked really happy.

Hinata blushed.

Damnit…  
He really wasn’t sure this was the right thing for Komaeda… but his own feelings were starting to take over.

Being reunited… was what he wanted. So, he should be happy… right? 

Hinata’s heart was aching.  
He wanted nothing more than to love him… because he took Komaeda for granted in the killing game. And then… and then he was gone. Hinata didn’t want that to happen again.

Damnit!!!!  
The logical and cold side of him that he had inherited from Kamukura was saying “this is a bad idea.” But… the emotional part of him… that he had always had was saying “this is what you wanted all along, fucking enjoy it!” 

He sighed.  
Well… as long as it wasn’t hurting Komaeda...

…………………

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

After dinner, Komaeda felt sleepy once again. However, this time he was a very happy sleepy head. 

He couldn’t explain it…  
Kissing Hinata felt so good.  
Komaeda was starting to wonder why there was a part of him that resented Hinata.

How could he resent someone so caring and talented and attractive? 

Komaeda didn’t get it.  
He didn’t understand why that part of him existed… and he didn’t want it to. He just wanted… he just wanted to love Hinata.

True, he had made some friends? I mean, he never thought he did… but Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi seemed to prove otherwise.

But loving someone is different than friendship. It’s a deep, deep feeling that reaches down into your core.

Komaeda wanted that feeling back.

“Hey Hinata…” He said in a sleepy voice. “Can you stay here tonight?” 

“Huh?” Hinata asked sitting down in the chair next to his bed.

“I want to feel you in my sleep…” Komaeda yawned.

“That makes no sense…” Hinata sighed, but reached for Komaeda’s good hand.

Komaeda smiled.  
“So you’ll stay?” 

“I really should say no…” Hinata replied.

“But?” Komaeda asked.

“I’ll stay.” Hinata sighed. 

Komaeda smiled.  
“Careful there Hinata… one night think… you’re the one whose in love…” He muttered before falling asleep.

Hinata sighed again.  
“You idiot… of course I’m in love.”  
He said after Komaeda had already drifted off to sleep.

Hinata leaned forward and rested his head on the edge of Komaeda’s bed. 

He eventually fell asleep too.


End file.
